Get Back With Your Boyfriend
- Article posted by James Thomas
OK, so your relationship with him is over. Really over. You’ve broken up with your boyfriend and he’s gone…for now anyway.
Take my relationship advice
If you really want to get back with your boyfriend, I can help you but you have to be willing to take my relationship advice (as an experienced relationship counselor), even though you’ll probably feel like doing the opposite.
What not to do
First and foremost when you break-up with a guy you have strong feelings for you’ll naturally feel compelled to act on those needy feelings and try to cling to him.
You’ll want to call him, text him, email him, and most importantly see him and you’ll want to try and talk about the relationship and about his feelings.
You’ll want to show him how hurt you feel in an attempt to get him back.
These are all perfectly natural responses however they will only serve to push your boyfriend further away from you.
If you want to have any chance at all to get back with your boyfriend you’re going to have to do the opposite.
Here’s what you need to do:
Give him space
The first thing you should do is give him space. That’s right, just let him be. If you try and chase him, he will naturally want to run away.
It will be really hard for you do this but it’s important. As painful as it is you have to let him go (for now) and bring your focus back on you.
Feel your feelings and get clear again
The next thing I want you to do is take 30 minutes to cry, get angry, throw a tantrum on the bed, really let yourself go and feel your emotions. Scream into that pillow and kick your legs and arms. Let those tears flow.
As crazy as that sounds it will really make you feel a whole lot better inside and will put you in a much clearer head space.
Once the 30 minutes are up, go take a nice long bath or shower and imagine all those hurt feelings are getting washed away. Allow yourself just to be in the moment and breathe.
OK, now that you’re feeling a little better, we can move onto the next step, which is understanding why he broke up with you.
Search for clues
The key is to think back over conversations you have had and search for clues.
Perhaps he made comments, jokes, looks, or gestures that were actually ‘communications’ (whether conscious or unconscious) that there was something happening in the relationship that he wasn’t happy with or made him feel uncomfortable.
Did you scare him off by being too intense in some form or another e.g. talking about long-term commitments like marriage, kids etc? Many guys get freaked out by that, especially if you haven’t been together all that long.
Were you too insecure in the relationship e.g. you’d get paranoid you saw him talking to other girls? Or perhaps there were times when he just felt like hanging out with his friends and you didn’t want to give him the space to do this. Even though most of us would never admit it, us guys are far more sensitive creatures than you girls give us credit for. We pick up on stuff too.
This is an important exercise because if you can put your finger on the issue and it is something that you are able and willing to change, this could be the powerful attractant that you need to get back with your boyfriend and ‘attraction’ really is the key.
Now don’t get me wrong, there are always two sides to every story and he needs to take responsibility for his part in the relationship, but as he is gone and you want him back, the ball is in your court to try and change something.
Now if you can’t come up with any clues right now, that’s OK just keep your mind open.
Time to renew you!
Next, its time to give yourself a massive makeover. That’s right, whether you’ve let yourself go or not, it’s time to get into tiptop shape and become even more beautiful than he remembers.
Not only will this make you feel great and empower you, the next time he sees you he’ll be blown away and will not like the attention you’re getting from other guys.
So get on that treadmill, have that facial, get your hair done and buy a new dress and shoes to match.
Create an opportunity to be seen
The next thing to do is to find or create an opportunity for him to see you in your new ’stunning state’.
Perhaps there’s a party coming up that you know he’ll be going to or a restaurant you know he frequents. Arrange to go to this event with your girlfriends (don’t go with another guy as this isn’t fair to him and may serve to create a negative situation).
Have the intention of going out and having a good time with your friends. The key is to show him that you don’t need him (remember, neediness is a guy repellent).
Rules of engagement
Once he notices you, he’ll be keeping an eye on you all night. If you make eye contact with him, just smile but then turn away and keep having fun with your friends.
What’s happening here is you’re reminding him of why he was attracted to you in the first place and he may well start to feel those feelings again, especially if he notices that you are getting attention from other men. Definitely leave yourself open to talking with other guys while he is present.
If the circumstance arises and he approaches you, be nice and open to talking with him but keep yourself centered. Don’t allow yourself to get emotional. Be friendly but keep some ‘energetic’ space between you.
Allow him to lead the conversation. Allow him to speak. Don’t make it easy for him. Remember he’s the one that broke up the relationship with you.
Whatever he says to you be careful not to rush into anything, even if he says that he’s really missed you and wants to get back together.
Use the power of attraction
The key to get back with your boyfriend is to let him chase you again, so take it slow and this will be hugely attracting for him and empowering for you. Read this sentence again and again until it is firmly in your mind. It’s that important!
The old relationship you had with him is gone and you need to reset the clock and start again, rather than to try and pick up where you left off.
Now off you go and put my relationship advice into action and get back with your boyfriend. It’s time to start anew!
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About The Author
James Thomas is the Founder & Editor for Self Empower Magazine and is one of it’s most active writers. He is passionate about empowering others to consciously create and live their absolute best life by sharing his extensive knowledge gained from 18+ years working in both the Personal Development and Health and Wellness industries.
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